I want to start writing again. I don't do anything else. All I do all day is watch TV, sometimes wander outside, read, play Sims 3, hang out, cruise around on tumblr. I want to care again. I want to be critical of the world again. I don't know when I stopped being critical. I don't know when I became so compliant and just started going along with things. I don't know why or when I started defending the government instead of coming up with a new solution all together. I'm tired of being complacent.
I afraid I'm not good enough though. I'm afraid of my privilege. I'm afraid that it means I can't have a voice because I'm white, middle class, in college, cis. Yes I'm a woman and I'm a lesbian, but I can pass as straight. I'm afraid that I'm not allowed to have a voice because of all of my privilege. I want to be profound and have a direction again. I feel lost and floundering lately.
I don't want to care about stepping on peoples toes when they are ignorant. I'm sick of making excuses for people. I hate upsetting people. I hate confronting people. I hate fighting. Perhaps I shouldn't be using this blog as my journal for the moment, but it's my blog and I can do what I want with it. I have nothing profound to say, that's why I don't write more. I can write about my feelings and that's about it. This is the end of my unfortunate rant on the current state of myself.
