Sitting in a Clean Room

     This is a room I call my own. This hasn't always been the case. We shared the room I live in  now when  we were  babies and little kids and then when we were 8 my father asked us if we would rather move into separate rooms or he would knock the wall down and we would have one big room. I opted for the one big room. We could live on one side and the other would be completely dedicated to play. We could leave everything set up all the time. And we played all the time.
     The summer before 10th grade I decided I wanted the wall back up and we would have separate rooms. We each got to paint and decorate our rooms. I now have a better sense of what I want to do with it. But since I only live here over the summer and that won't be the case next year, I figure I can work with what I chose at 15.
     Sitting in a clean room always makes me feel like I have my shit together. Like I belong in a movie or something. Because in movies and books, they always have beautiful clean rooms that they spend all  their time in. I also never used to spend much time in my room. I do now though. I guess college has kind of done that too me. I used to never be in my room unless I was going to bed. Now I come up here and do whatever. Listen to music, write, watch TV, whatever I want.
      Today, I cleaned and rearranged my room. Something I do semi-frequently because I get bored and want a change. So I was long overdue. Sitting here it feels much more homey than before. When I came home from school I didn't really nest back in because, well I didn't want to be here and I figured its such a short time so why bother. But let me just tell you, I am happier than a clam.
     Yet, for loving the feeling of being in a clean room, I NEVER clean. Never. I will anything and everything to avoid cleaning. I throw my clothes everywhere, I don't put anything away. I make piles ALL over the place...the bane of my mothers existence.
     But here I am in my clean room happy as a clam. I feel like I can conquer the world if I want. Even if that just means reading my book and writing in my journal before bed. It's a good feeling. Maybe I should do this more often.